Ha Azinu - Show Them Please!

 Ha Azinu - Show Them Please

 About 10 years ago, I had my iPhone with me on the dinner table while (I apparently wasn’t being so smart) having dinner with my family, and my sweet daughter politely asked me, “Daddy isn’t that rude of you to have your cell phone on the table when it’s family time!?”   I always preach it, and she literally was calling me out, and I still ask that NO smart phones are at the table; it's family time!    I started to say, “Do as I say.....…….”  I STOPPED right there, and said, “Mia, you’re so very right!”  I removed my phone from the area and focused on what I should be focusing on, my family, and boy were my dogs happy!!!   I was being a hypocrite and not leading by example, and not just hurting myself, but my children as well……NO! NO more do as I say, NOT as “I” do!   Who am “I”? Have I turned into a different generation? 

It is true that one who goes astray, or deviates is not just harming oneself, but that he/she is also harming others, be it silently or otherwise.  I should have honestly realized and thought, as other parents, I must set the pace, the rules, and proper actions with in and out of my own home!   My children’s perception is directly related to my own actions and behaviors.  Do I want a blemish on my own report card, or on theirs for thatmatter?  No, of course not!   The mind and thought process of a child, and even an adult is very sensitive and has a difficult time accepting insincerity or stories.  So I needed not just say it, but change MY very own action to ensure I was not preaching hypocrisy !    Fast forward to today and NO phones or laptops are on the table at meal time!!!  I am thankful!

 My Mom used to say and still does into her early 80s, and might be why I say it, “Actions speaks LOUDER than words.”  She’s always……., well is/was usually right!   In fact, my folks were visiting for the High Holy Days last year (and my mom made a statement about MY health (I am absolutley fine) and even prefaced it by saying, “Not that I am, but ……”I never heard an “I told ya’ so….”  She and my dad really did lead by example, thankfully!  Very few, “do as I say, not as I do…” ……. Very moralistic, honest, true and loving parents that lead by a true example.   They both are a true gift!   BTW, I had gained a few LBs, and she wanted to make sure I took care of myself, and my mom NOT being a hypocrite, lead by example and put me up for the challenge...and we both shed a few lbs together!  She practiced what she preached!

The Torah teaches us that a person who expects his/her children to grow into good, upstanding, solid, loving, kind human being, while he/she walks and continues to follow a deviated path, that at times, might even seem lackadaisical, should honestly realize that he/she is NOT just acting for him/herself, but for his/her own child, and those persons they surround!  Even if a parent sent his/her child to the finest school in town, he/she MUST also augment the most correct behaviors to set an example and be a fine teacher in their own environment as well.  Lead by example and lead from the front!   

This same love and affection & lofty expectations which he/she has for his/her child can be paralleled to your own relationship with humanity and the world that surrounds you!    Set an example, be the example, live the example, even when nobody's looking!  BE A GOOD PERSON!!! 

This also allows you to build yourself UP!  Construction of self, understanding what change is needed will not just help you, but show them by setting the bar and your own act of love and kindness!

We all fall from perfect, and we must always remember our true obligations, not just as a parent or that of a human being, but as a loving and endearing person and understand and take ALL the responsibilities that go with the position.